In the course of our work at the Amberwatch Foundation, we come across literally thousands of stories of child sex abuse. We also learn a great deal about the techniques these pedophiles use to either lure children or keep them from telling anyone about the incidents.

We recently came across this story out of Maryland about the indictment of an elementary vice principal charged with the molestation of a six-year-old boy who was a student at the school.

According to the report, the boy’s mother became suspicious when the child returned home from school with a brand new GameBoyTM.

The expensive electronic toy seemed an excessive gift for doing well in school and, when pressed, the child admitted to what had been happening in the school bathroom.

This astute mother is an example for us all, and reminds us that not everyone should be giving our children gifts. As “Be Safe!” Tip #12 teaches us, if your child is the recipient of an expensive gift from someone beyond your closest circle of family and friends, it’s worth the time to discover who gifted it and for what reason.

We recently trained the Orange County School District (FL) in our “Be Safe!” Education Program. During the training, Commander Charles Hurley, a friend of the Foundation and leading expert on our program, shared some statistics with the audience.

He recounted the number of registered sex offenders living in Orange County, FL, a figure well over 1,000. That fact in and of itself wasn’t shocking for those of us who work in this field. What was eye opening was the fact that of those 1000+ offenders, nearly 40% worked as electricians, carpenters and plumbers… occupational professionals that we routinely invite into our homes to help with everyday problems.

I share this not to scare our readers or to prejudice anyone against such individuals, but to remind us that just as we wouldn’t let a complete stranger have free access to our homes and our children, we shouldn’t do so for professionals who come into our homes to perform work; rather, we must always be aware of who we invite into our homes and pay attention to what those visitors are doing while they’re there.

If you’ve happened to catch an episode of Dateline NBC’s To Catch a Predator, you can’t help but notice almost all of the perpetrators are male. In fact, when we speak around the country, the typical image our audience has of a molester is a disheveled looking middle-aged male… similar to what you’d see in a mug shot.

The truth is, females are also sexual offenders. According to this study conducted by the Texas Department of State Health Services regarding the treatment of sex offenders, despite the fact that females also offend, they are a population of offenders that is “largely unrecognized and neglected”. In fact, the study concludes that even when female offenders are caught, they are more often than not presented in the light of their own victimization (i.e. they were victimized when they were younger and now have become the victimizer). That’s all well and good, unless you or your children fall victim to a female offender!

We need to keep in mind that not all molesters look like mug shots, and not all offenders are male. We should teach our children that both males and females can potentially cause them harm, and to have the same degree of “prevention attention” on both men and women.

When we conduct Be Safe! Program parent presentations, we always suggest to parents that they consult their local Department of Law Enforcement website to familiarize themselves with registered sex offenders that live in their area (or go here). As we always say, attention is the key to prevention. Knowing who these offenders are is a good first step in protecting you and your family.

At the same time, we should also keep in mind that there is a difference between a sexual offender and a sexual predator. Although definitions vary from state to state, a good rule of differentiation is this:

An offender is someone who is convicted of a sexual offense. A predator is a repeat sexual offender, a sexual offender who used physical violence, and/or a sexual offender who preys on children.

This is why it is important to look closely at the sexual offenders in your neighborhood to know if you’re dealing with someone who may have pleaded “no contest” to streaking one time, as opposed to a repeat offender who preys on children. All offenders are not equal in the severity of their crimes.

Most of us have heard the phrase “stranger danger” at one point or another. In fact, a good many of us in the U.S. were taught the perils of “stranger danger” when we were in grade school twenty years ago. We here at the AmberWatch Foundation often still hear the phrase today when we visit with school district administrators. They, too, got the message all those years ago. The only challenge is… it’s only relevant for about 1 out of every 10 reported sex crimes against children.

According to Dr. Dianna Russell in her book The Secret Trauma (NY: Basic Books), 29% of child sexual abuse offenders are relatives, and 60% are acquaintances. With nearly 90% of offenders being previously connected to the child, we can no longer afford to think of this as only a “stranger” issue.

So what is a parent to do?

You can begin by making sure you have knowledge of the adults in your child’s life, and discuss with him (or her) the places that are approved for your child to visit. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics’ Survey of State Prison Inmates, 75% of violent victimizations of children took place in either the victim’s home or the offender’s home. Simply knowing who is in our homes and whose houses our children are visiting (and who’s in there!) is a big step we can take towards protecting our children.

Carlie Bruscia; Jessica Lundsford; Amber Hagerman; Adam Walsh. The names are all too familiar to us, and they serve as a constant reminder that evil is just outside our door. But while child abductions and murders grab national headlines, the reality is that, in the U.S., typically 115 children each year are abducted and murdered by someone they don’t know.

Our “Be Safe!” Program content is designed to mitigate stranger abductions, which are horrific. However, we’re also focusing resources against a crime just as sinister and that has long-term societal effects: Acquaintance perpetrators.

National statistics indicate that only 30-35% of child molestations are reported in the U.S.; of that group, roughly 89% of these victims know the person who is victimizing them! 29% of abusers are family relatives and 60% are acquaintances. You can review these and other alarming statistics in this article published at yellodyno.com.

A lot of research has been done to help identify those individuals who are most likely to commit these crimes. This is helping; but we believe we must work harder and smarter at preventing these crimes in the first place.

It may take a village to raise our children, but it takes a nation to protect them.

Here at the AmberWatch Foundation, our mission is to provide innovative educational programs and tools to kids and their parents to stay safe from sexual predators. That's why we developed the "Be Safe!” Education Program for children and parents, which is being embraced by some of the largest school districts in the country. While we believe in the program and its effectiveness, we also realize that we cannot be everywhere at once; so we're starting a conversation here at the new AmberWatch Foundation blog.

This blog will be a resource for concerned parents as we update you on child safety news and trends, provide safety tips from the "Be Safe!” Curriculum, and keep you informed as to the progress of the AmberWatch Foundation itself.

We also want to encourage a healthy dialogue with those of you who will be part of our online community. We would love to hear comments from you regarding the blog posts we publish and we encourage you to share insights, information and thoughts of your own. We welcome your feedback and will always listen to any concerns you may have. Also, note that comments that are derogatory or inflammatory will not be published on this blog. We want this to be a safe place for everyone to participate. If we do not publish your comment, we will make sure to contact you personally about any issues you might have.

Thanks for your interest in the AmberWatch Foundation and the work that we're doing. We are very excited to begin this conversation and hope that you will join us in increasing awareness of the need to proactively protect our children through education!